Body functions

Ok, People! I promised you a blog on body functions and here you will have it. Will and I have been a bit intriqued by the comfort in releasing body functions. From Burma to Vietnam I personally have been impressed by the ability of people at any age to hawk up serious mucus and then spit it out right in front of you. I really enjoy it when the person turns out to be a tough looking little granny though. I could never imagine Grandma McCartney doing such a thing! Also, when people are done eating they use tooth picks but it a very discreet way by putting their hands over their mouths while they dig away at their teeth behind the hand. I usually see people in America doing this opening, and honestly, I think we could take a pointer or two on this one. Farting to also no problem. In fact when we were riding a bus from Ngapali Beach to Pyay, Burma there was a guy sitting across the aisle and one seat in from us, he turned, looked at who was behind him, rolled in on his opposite hip and launched one right at us. Not so freindly fire. Also, on the same bus ride sitting behind Will was a young Monk who was throwing up into a bag. I know I have written a bit about transportation and truly I could dedicate just one blog alone about bus trips and the pit falls of some and the benefits of others.

Just last night I rode the same sleeper bus that Will had the night before to Hoi An. It was the best trip yet. It was $14 and you were esentially on a bus, but in a bed. This was very comfortable for me, but, for those over 5' 5" it might be a different story. Traveling at night by sleeper bus is really the way to go. We just found out about two days ago that when we were in Ho Chi Min we could have bought an "open tour" bus ticket and it only would have cost $23 and would have allowed us onto any bus heading in the same Northern direction. We will have ended up spending less then a $100 on bus tickets between Ho Chi Men and Hanoi. Bummer. We could have saved a few dollars.

Today I had the wonderful experience of parting with my passport and $100 US dollars because my visa had expired and Vietnam has very stringent rules about this sort of thing. I could have gotten angry but I honestly don't have the energy to be and it came out of the stash of emergency money even though its not really an emergency. It is a well paid for lesson in paying attention which I had not been and was just lazy. But, it did afford me the wonderful opportuntiy to meet Drem...a young Vietnamese lady who was at the consulate in Hoi An dropping off passports for others, heard me explaining my problem to the immigration officer who said I needed to go to DaLong to fix it. DaLong is the next town over, about 40 km away. Within a few moments we had negotiated a price, I hopped on her moto, we stopped at her house to pick up a helmet for me and we were off for a three hour moto ride! When we got there the immigration office said they could not deal with me directly and that I had to use a travel agency. She found one and I surrendered my passport and the $100 cash and they agreed to send it up to Hanoi when I got there. Whew! It was not the experience I was looking for but having it with Drem made it worth while...while we were driving there it started to rain and she pulled over and bought us both a rain poncho and then when we took off she reached back and grabbed my hand and pulled it around her waist and said hold on...I yelled "there is nothing to hold onto!" and she laughed and said Yes, I am very small. She was. And she was wearing heels. I love how all the women in this country are all decked out in there sexy clothes driving their motos in high heels and fighting through traffic. Its a great visual.

When I finally got back to Hoi An I met up with Will and it was time to go try his new suit on! Yup, he got a new suit as well and he looks super dapper in it. Not to top him, but I also ordered three new skirts and they will be done tomorrow at 930 am. Then we have to get the hell out of here because tailor made clothes are even less expensive here and I could use more retail therapy so we simply have to get out as soon as possible. We are leaving tomorrow at130 and will be on a 15 hour bus trip to Hanoi then onto Halong Bay then Will flies off to Bangkok on the 6th and I follow him on the 9th. We are winding things down and it feels good. Even just having the one day apart and my mini breakdown yesterday was just the ticket.

Hoi An is a beautiful town and I wish we had more time to be here but Halong Bay is calling me more.

Ok, lets see, did I cover body functions...oh, lots of people have seriously bad coughs and I wish I had some phlegm relieving Lung formulas with me because I think I could really help people here. Did I mention nose picking? Totally acceptable to do so anywhere, on your front porch, when you are taking someones order, just before you reach in your pocket to pull out someones change...no worries. It is a dry and dusty place and boogers are inevitable.

Public Urination! How could I forget this one! If you are a man, all you have to do is stop your car or moto on the side of the road and whip it out. Nobody cares.

Oh! When we were finishing our beer before picking up Will's suit I noticed a man who looked familiar from Santa Fe. I walked up to him and asked him if he was from Santa Fe. Sure enough, he was. I recognized his face from Wild Oats. He actually lives in Pecos but I usually see him at Wildoats. His face is distinct. We laughed about it and he mentioned that he had just been in Cambodia at a Cock fight and met some young folks from Santa Fe. Apparently New Mexico and Cambodia are the only two places that this is still legal. Probably not, but it was yet another reminded that real life is bleeding through and that it is time to start tending a little bit to the business of getting home and all the decisions that await me there.

Ok, off to find some cold beverage and air conditioning!

willandCODY