The Color Purple

Is truly magnificent when viewed as a lovely silk wall hanging in a Catholic Church half way round the world from home. Today I went to church. It is Sunday after all. I have spent so much time getting to know the Buddha and the Tao here in SE Asia that I thought it might be time to get back to my roots and see how the Christians were doing it. It was truly like coming home. The Church itself is just kn0wn as the Nha Trang Cathedral. It was built in 1912 of cement block but in a simple French Gothic design. A true classic. Reminded me much of St. Brigid's back in Midland, MI where my spiritual path would start so many years ago. For the most part the internal elements were the same...there was J. C. (Jesus Christ) hanging from the cross above the alter. Only difference is that the cross was outlined in red neon lighting which I think was a nice addition and want to recommend for the West. There were pews and a place to kneel in front of the pew. I took a seat on the left (but really its the right hand if you are taking directions from JC's perspective) half way up. Kneeled and said my prayers and waited for the service to start. The 9:30 mass was a good choice as the choir was singing today and while I am not certain which song they had chose for the day they sounded so lovely. Honestly, everything was the same although some parts of the mass that we would speak they sang them. Like the part where the Priest is holding up the body of Christ and we respond "lord I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I shall be healed....they sing that part and it was lovely. I stood and took communion with the other parishioners. It was a powerful experience to say the least. I realized half way through the mass that I have not actually sat through services since my mothers funeral almost seven years ago. March 28th 2002. When I walked up the Priest looked a little startled to see me there in line. He was able to get out in English "the body of Christ" and I said Amen back to him and he put it in my mouth. There was no blood of Christ to be offered so I obviously passed on that. Such a moving experience. I cried all the way through mass. Pretty sure it was enough of a strange experience for my fellow parishioners to see some blond woman but then to have her weeping and wiping her eyes with her hanky is quite another. We all made it through though. It was nice to feel so at home in this cathedral and not get too caught up in what the church represents to me now and what I represent to the church for that matter. I was just open for an experience and I got what I came for. And I gave a generous tything too. I loved sitting there and knowing the experience so clearly despite the fact that it was all in Vietnamese save for the AMEN. I realized while sitting there that the Purple sashes worn by the two priests and hanging from the wall represent the time of year. It now must be lent by my calculations since Fat Tuesday is all about being followed by Ash Wednesday.

And so it is a time to renew. According to the Catholic faith, but also by the law of nature. Which I am certain the catholic/christian holidays all follow from the Pagan celebrations. The fall noted the dying of the season and everything returning to the land, and now the land is becoming ripe again...getting itself ready for the thaw and spring and the birth of all new things...birds, flowers, trees, and so it goes. Anything with a life cycle is effected by these laws of nature. Even our human bodies. I think it is right that I chose to travel at this time of the year. For many reasons it is obvious, to avoid the cold but during this time of traveling so far away I feel like I have finally arrived at home and a greater level of peace within myself. The last fews day since arriving at the beach I have struggled with an inner turmoil that was becoming quite unpleasant for myself and surely for Will. I finally asked for some time alone and it was decided that he wanted to just go ahead to Hoi An and I would meet him in another day or so. From the minute it was decided I could feel the tides changing inside of me. I had wanted this journey to be more than just seeing what the rest of SE Asia had to offer. I wanted it to be about the further excavation of myself. I wanted to be more clear about the direction of my life and what I wanted to let go of and to also draw more near. Will could never have known he was hitching his wagon onto such a trip but he has done unbelievably well and I do believe he has come to know himself that much better as he had to navigate his own way through this trip.

After church today I went back to my hotel and had the best cry I have had in years. I honestly do not recall crying that much or that hard for almost seven years. it was beautiful and cleansing to say the very least. I feel like that is what I have been waiting for for far too long and the room it has created inside of me feels good. I see where the elements have been trying to line up to make it all possible and at every moment I have felt supported by the universe to get to this very moment. I was able to make it to this wonderful beach where I was not able to do anything but rest and stop fighting myself. And then the rain came yesterday, the night after Will and I spoke and seemed to wash everything away that we were holding collectively between us and for others. Although I can only speak for myself I am certain that I also noticed a shift in Will and we both felt better for it. I went for a long run on the beach in the rain and it felt wonderful. I had the biggest cheesy smile on my face that I could not have even tried to wipe off and I was so damn happy. I was so thankful for Will's unfailing companionship on this trip and his ability to be gentle with me at times when everything in his yang-filled 19 year old male body tells him to do other wise with his energy. His is a good balance for his age.

In the afternoon before he left we rented a moto and headed off to find the church for me so I could find out the times of mass today. Then we just took in the town of Nha Trang. It truly is beautiful here, the perfect balance of mountains and water. We drove into the foothills unsure of how far we should go because we did not know how much gas we actually had...either we had no gas or the gas indicator was broken. It turned out that we actually were low on gas and eventually we would run out of gas and then I would push us to buy gas where while buying a liter of gas we would be offered marijuana and "blow" very cheap, good stuff....we declined. Later after Will left I walked to the store and was offered marijuana twice more in the short distance of one block. Can these people smell my pot-a-holic days of youth? Or are they simply just trying to make a sale like those folks selling books, jewelry...etc. These guys just looked a little more shadey. Anyway, we drove out to the foothills past the ship yard and I think we encountered the naval academy? All I know is that there were about two hundred young men running along side of the road in matching uniforms with back packs and guns and when we rounded a curve and we saw each other at the same time they all waved and yelled "hello!" It was pretty sweet and for the first time someone was saying hello to us just because they wanted to not because they wanted to sell us something. Unless they were arms dealers.... It was great and just what we needed. Will got on the sleeping bus bound for Hoi An at 7pm. He texted me an hour later telling me that it was a huge party and the bus was over booked and he was fine. I guess we both got what we needed.

Maybe a little more later
willandCODY